Ingrid Solano, PhD
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Relationships
Communication
Effective communication is more than just talking—it’s about expressing yourself clearly, truly listening, and understanding your partner with fairness and intention. It requires effort, presence, and a shared commitment to your relationship values.
Yet often, communication breaks down before it even begins. Unspoken expectations, stonewalling, mind-reading, keeping score, blame, and rigid thinking like “always” or “never” are common patterns that quietly erode connection and trust.
The first step in rebuilding healthy communication is identifying the barriers that are getting in the way—then working together to understand, address, and move past them.
Are you a good communicator?
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place.” George Bernard Shaw
Systems Matter
Relationships are foundational to every aspect of our lives—our health, emotional well-being, careers, families, friendships, and communities. When relationships are strained, the impact runs deep, affecting not just our mental state, but even our physical health and longevity.
In today’s world of stressed relationships, many face challenges like unmet expectations, imbalance in giving and receiving, feelings of entitlement, or emotional disconnection. These dynamics can complicate how we experience care, support, and connection.
Healthy relationships, on the other hand, serve as powerful buffers against stress and are essential to thriving. By working mindfully to understand how we influence—and are influenced by—those around us, we can foster lasting personal and relational growth.
Together, we can take a systemic, intentional approach toward building healthier, more resilient relationships.
What are the most important relationships in your life? What environments and relationships have fostered your greatest sense of self?
Intimacy & Sexuality
Intimacy is the experience of deep emotional closeness—feeling seen, heard, valued, understood, and supported. Sexuality, when nurtured intentionally, can become a powerful, affirming part of that connection. Yet both intimacy and sexual expression can be shaped—and sometimes challenged—by personal histories, cultural influences, relational dynamics, and how we perceive ourselves through our partner’s eyes.
Having emotional or physical needs doesn’t make you “needy” or codependent—it makes you human. True intimacy and vulnerability require courage. In therapy, we can explore intimacy and sexuality as meaningful pathways to healing, self-understanding, and stronger, more authentic relationships—starting with the one you have with yourself.
Do you find yourself not being present, more like a spectator watching for your partner's reactions? How do you tune into your relationship? How do you tune into yourself?Ethical-Non-Monogamy & Compersion
The foundation of ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is built on open communication, mutual consent, and honesty among all partners. This means everyone involved is fully informed about other relationships and aligned on shared boundaries and expectations. ENM creates space for individuals to explore connection and sexuality in ways that feel genuine and fulfilling—while still honoring the emotional needs of each partner.
Therapy can support you in developing and strengthening these essential relational skills—intentionally and with clarity. It can also help cultivate compersion: the ability to find joy in your partner’s joy, to empathize with their happiness, and to deepen emotional connection through shared understanding and trust.
Is compersion the opposite of jealousy? Should I expect and acknowledge jealousy in these relationships? -
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Self as Content
Each of us carries a personal narrative—one shaped by objective facts, subjective experiences, cultural expectations, roles, and social scripts. Authentic community plays a vital role in shaping and supporting this narrative; it grounds us and helps us grow into our identities with flexibility and resilience. Yet, we can sometimes lose ourselves within the unspoken rules, roles, and routines of our relationships. Without realizing it, we may fall into patterns that no longer serve us—repeating familiar dynamics or resisting them in ways that keep us stuck. Over time, these patterns can limit our psychological flexibility and personal growth.
Therapy offers a space to explore these relational habits with awareness and intention. The first step is identifying which patterns support your well-being and development—and which ones need to be released in order to move forward. What are your values and boundaries? Do they define you or do you define them? Are they old, antiquated habits or do they serve you as you grow?
Support for Diverse Relationships
Many people hesitate to seek mental health support out of fear they won’t be truly understood—or worse, that they’ll be judged. Feeling “different” can lead to shame, anxiety, and the belief that your experiences or identity are somehow flawed. This can make it feel exhausting or even hopeless to express yourself or navigate your relationships.
Affirming therapy embraces the richness of diversity in identity, experience, and relationships. It acknowledges the unique challenges you may face and the impact of societal biases, stigma, and marginalization. True support must resonate with your lived experience—not where others assume you need help, but where you actually do.
Are you able to be your authentic self with those around you? Do you feel seen and heard? Are you able to be self-affirming?
Modern Love, Digital Relationships & Ghosting
“Apologies without change and atonement are just manipulation.” Ingrid Solano, PhD
Modern love can be hard to navigate. Why do so many of us feel lonely, now more than ever? Is there a decline in genuine, authentic, and especially intimate relationships? It can seem like creating committed relationships just becomes more and more difficult. Maybe it's the "paradox of choice," meaning the more options we see, the less satisfied we can be with our ultimate decision. Maybe we aren't as forthcoming with our intentions? Maybe “the apps” just aren’t rewarding anymore. Maybe we’re afraid of getting ghosted again. Therapy can help you navigate all these choices and situations by exploring how and when they have worked for you, and why they may not be working any longer. Therapy and Coaching can help you define your goals, methods, and expectations, so you can attract the type of relationships you want-- while also avoiding bad habits.
How do you connect through all this bread-crumbing, ghosting, zombie-ing, love-bombing, and even "Date me, I'm in therapy!" traps?
Or... Are we always looking for someone just a little better than the person we’re chatting with? It takes courage to admit when we are wrong or we’ve knowingly hurt someone. Once you become self-protective at the expense of other people’s feelings it could be hard to stop. Or maybe you just don’t believe it’s possible for relationships to grow and change, or for attraction to deepen as time goes by. Maybe ghosting is better than a handful of empty apologies.
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